Vulnerable
by astheblackrosewilts
Summary: “But that leaves him completely vulnerable, he thinks he’s not, but he is.” Sequel to ‘Invulnerable’, Elizabeth and John discuss a piece of technology that could restore the Rodney they know.


AN – This is the sequel to Invulnerable so it would probably help to read that first but if not then what you basically need to know is the Rodney lost his memory after a wraith fed on him Rating – PG-13? 

**Summary** – "But that leaves him completely vulnerable, he thinks he's not, but he is." Sequel to 'Invulnerable', Elizabeth and John discuss a piece of technology that could restore the Rodney they know.

**Disclaimer** – I don't own any of these characters, the clever, clever people who created them do.

**Vulnerable**

Elizabeth dropped a stack of files onto the desk, they landed with a thump but John didn't even blink and certainly didn't look away from the scene he was watching in the gateroom.

"Apparently it's quite common." She offered and he turned to look at her for a second before cursing as a delighted cry rose from the lower floor and he realised that he'd missed the fireworks.

Sighing she opaqued the walls of her office and he turned to face her, grumbling as he did so.

"Apparently what is quite common?"

"Memory loss after being fed on."

John's eyes flickered involuntarily to the gateroom again, even though he could no longer see the excited crowd of scientists.

"No it's not." He replied, "of all the others-"

"Of all the others," she interrupted, "none had the ATA gene, just Rodney."

He was looking at her properly now. "Big deal, it's linked to genetics, Rodney got screwed over by his body one more time, as if the hypoglycaemia and allergies weren't enough. Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, the Ancients devised a way to restore the victim's memory to them."

John froze. "Excuse me?"

"I think Rodney should use it."

"Right," John nodded, "and will Rodney be getting a choice in this mater?"

She blinked, "what do you mean?"

He shot her an exasperated look, "come on Elizabeth! You've seen him now, I would very much doubt that he wants his memory back."

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed, "well, it doesn't really matter does it, we need his memory to ensure the safety of this expedition."

John looked at her. "No we don't, we need his mind and, thank God, that is still in tact. Do you honestly want to be hooking Rodney's brain up to something like that? We have no idea how it works-"

"The Ancients built it." She insisted.

"And the Ancients have been so infallible before now, isn't that right?"

"Still," she persisted, "we need-"

"We need him." John insisted. "We need his ability to read Ancient, we need his skills with astrophysics, we need his gene. All of which we still have. In fact, if anything he's better now than he was before. Atlantis likes him better; the technology seems to be functioning on a higher level for him. It's like he intuitively understands what's happening. Hell," John snorted, "he's even a better shot now than he was before, he's not over thinking it, he's just understanding it."

"But-"

"And another thing," John's glare caused her to break off far more than his words. "He's happier now, you'd have to be blind not to see it! He has nothing to go back for Elizabeth, his family is dead and he's estranged from his sister, he doesn't even have a picture of her here! We had to request one from Earth to show him."

"Don't you think he should be the one to make that choice?"

"Okay," John agreed, "ask him if he'd like his memory back."

Elizabeth took a deep breath, "if he understood the situation-"

"And who's fault is it that he doesn't?" John's voice broke in, milder this time, no blame but somehow that made it worse. "You gave the order that he was to be kept in the dark as I recall Elizabeth."

She buried her face in her hands, where had she gone so wrong?

"I was just trying to.."

"To what?" John's voice was sympathetic now, "to protect him? I understand that Elizabeth, really I do, but Rodney… he's not a child Elizabeth and forcing him to remember is unethical, he needs to be given the choice."

"I could have him declared as being of diminished mental capacity." She offered half-heartedly, then-"

"Then I would say exactly the same thing I'm saying now."

Elizabeth blinked, confused, John had a strange smile on his face. "What?"

"I'm listed as his next of kin, Rodney gets committed and I make the decisions and I'd decide to give him the choice, tell him everything and give him the choice."

"You're only saying that because you know what his answer's going to be." She cried, exasperated.

"So how is that any different from what you're doing? At least I'm not forcing him."

"I'm just trying to do what's best for the mission."

He shook his head. "You're not, you're trying to do what's best for you. You miss him and you feel guilty and you want him to tell you that what happened to him wasn't your fault. There's nothing else we can gain from having his memory restored, he'll never go out in the field again. How do you think he's going to react when he realises exactly what's happened to him?"

She shook her head miserably. "Elizabeth," John's voice was quiet. "I miss him too, I want to hear him argue and snark and scream and berate and make the minions cry. But, ultimately, it's not my choice. If we did use it without telling him and he did get his memory back, do you think he'd ever forgive you for it?"

She was silent for a long moment, "He'll never understand without his memories."

"And we can't ask him to make a decision without understanding." He finished for her. "I get it Elizabeth, a catch 22 if there ever was one." He laughed without humour. "We should probably make this a part of the medical survey, 'should you find yourself without your personal memory but with all of your expertise do you wish for that memory to be returned to you?'"

"Do you think Rodney would have agreed?"

John hesitated, "from that description I think he would have wanted his memory returned, but if he could see this… then no, I don't think so."

"Then we've lost him."

"No," She forced herself to look at him, "no I don't think we did, we came close but Rodney's still here, but now we can see him, this Rodney used to be buried under a thousand sarcasm barriers and behind a hundred brick walls."

"But that leaves him completely vulnerable, he thinks he's not, but he is."

"Still not our decision." He reminded her.

She took a deep breath and waved him away. "I know, go on, tell him."

"Now?"

"Yes, now, go on."

He shot her a look of gratitude and bounced out of his seat and out the door.

She watched as he bounded down the steps to the scientists who were congratulating each other on a job well done. "Rodney!"

She watched as a man, far older than she was used to seeing turned at the sound of his name and heard the thrilled shout of 'John!'

She saw as the pilot was pulled into the jumper they had been playing with and heard his delighted cry as Rodney explained the intricacies of the mini-hyper drive he'd designed and installed in Jumper 1.

She smiled and then felt it crack as she considered the possibilities of the situation that was developing.

After all, it wasn't just John and herself who could see Rodney now. What was to stop someone else trying the same thing? She couldn't understand it herself but desperation makes people do strange things, including considering using the wraith to forget.

Because what's a lost year or two, compared to a lifetime of bliss?

End


End file.
